Are You Making Room for Your Big Rocks?
You’re probably familiar with the “Big Rocks of Life” story. If not, you can check it out here.
Here’s the summary:
A teacher stands in front of her class with a big jar, and without a word begin to fill it with fist-sized rocks. Once the jar is full of these rocks and there’s clearly room for no more, she asks her class, “Is the jar full?”
In unison, the class responds “yes.”
The teacher challenges them and asks, “really?”
As the class ponders this, she reaches into a desk drawer and pulls out bag of gravel and begins to pour it into the jar, occasionally shaking it so the gravel will fall into the spaces between the fist-sized rocks.
Again, she asks her class, “Is the jar full?”
The class is now a little more skeptical and one student answers, “Probably not.”
The teacher says, “Good,” and reaches into a drawer and pulls out a bag of sand. Once again she pours the sand into the jar and shakes it so the sand can settle into the open spaces among the rocks and gravel.
“Is the jar full?” the teacher asks.
By now the entire class yells “no!”
The teacher acknowledges them and pulls out a bottle of water and pours it into the jar until it fills the entire jar up to the very top.
Finally the teacher pauses for a moment, then asks her class, what is the point of this exercise?
One student generally regarded as a “know-it-all” beams proudly as he says the point of the exercise is that no matter how full your schedule is, you can always fit more into it.
The teacher kindly says “no,” that isn’t the point at all. The point is that if you don’t put in the big rocks first, there will be no room for them at all.
What Are Your Big Rocks?
I think this exercise provides a valuable lesson for how you think about your life and your money.
First and foremost, what are the big rocks in your life? What are the things that you need to focus on first so they’re not crowded out by increasingly smaller — and less important — responsibilities and obligations?
Maybe for you it’s a person. Or a group of people. A family member. Or a close friend.
It might be an activity or a personal passion that requires a time commitment.
Perhaps it’s an earnest desire to learn and grow.
Or it could be one of a million other things.
This is something that is likely very personal and unique to you and reflects what’s important in your live and the lives of those you care about.
But often, we get distracted by other, less important things. Things that are out of our control.
Yet, they become a source of anxiety and stress.
And before you know it, you start rationalizing and making excuses about spending time, energy and resources on the little things. And your “big rocks” receive less of your time and attention.
Little things — the gravel, sand and water in the story above — could be noise from the media or friends and family. It could be a situation where your money-focus begins to become more important that what the money is actually for (your goals, hopes and dreams).
Focus On What’s Important And What You Can Control
That’s why I believe it’s important to keep a constant focus on the things that are important to you as well as the things that are within your control.
I think the best way to facilitate and encourage this behavior is to embrace a financial decision making process that puts you, your life, and what’s important to you at the center of everything. In other words, we start with your “big rocks” and continually revisit and remind ourselves why they’re your big rocks to begin with.
This doesn’t mean you should hire me, because I might not be the best fit for you and your situation. And this doesn’t mean you need an advisor at all.
In fact, if you truly keep your focus on the big rocks in your life, it will go a long way toward preventing mistakes that are common to those who no longer have room for their own big rocks.
